I find that all my seemingly rock-solid plans to move to the city and find work at not so solid after all... after exploring much of Western Ontario and acquainting myself with various small towns, I find myself much more appreciative of Gore Bay. It is, after all, clean and pretty, without foul-smelling air or polluted water. There's a lot to be said for that. My hostility for it has diminished considerably.

That doesn't address the financial difficulties we're having, unfortunately. Staying here, being more content with what I've already got instead of what I wish I had, doesn't help us make more money. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do about it. I wish, wish, wish I were a better housewife. I wish I could cheerfully clean house, shop, cook, do laundry, make beds, vacuum, etc. etc. with a spring in my step and a song in my heart, but sadly, no dice. I hate it. With the white-hot passion of a thousand suns, I hate it. I don't mind cooking but I loathe having to scrub the kitchen before I can cook something, and it seems that everything's ALWAYS dirty. No matter how many pots and dishes I wash, there's always more.

How can this be? There's just the two of us. If we had a huge family with radically different schedules, I could at least understand it. But with only two people, eating only two meals a day, you'd think it wouldn't be so hard to keep tidy. It would probably be easier if things were better organized, and it were easier to be tidy-- if we had closets and more drawers for clothes, if we had better cupboards and drawers for storing pots and dishes and silverware, and a bigger sink and better faucet to wash up with. A few more closets and better storage solutions in general would make a world of difference in dealing with the clutter issue, especially my own stuff. Ah well. Perhaps we can get Sandy to come and organize us.